Monterey Peninsula
Neurodiverse Couples Therapy on the Monterey Peninsula
I live in Pacific Grove.
If you're reading this from Monterey, Carmel, Seaside, Marina, or Salinas, you could drive to me in about thirty minutes.
Almost nobody comes to my office.
This page explains why that's usually the better choice—and the one part of my practice where living down the road changes everything.
Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, MA, LMFT #151788
Therapy & Assessments in California · Coaching Worldwide · Based in Pacific Grove · 80% Couples
Where I Am
Yes, I'm Actually Here
I keep two home bases. One is here in Pacific Grove, on the Monterey Bay. The other is in Huron, Ohio, near Sandusky and the shores and islands of Lake Erie.
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #151788, and I've been in a neurodiverse marriage for more than forty years. I found my own neurodivergence at 57. I know this work from the inside, not just from the therapy chair.
Here's the part most local pages won't tell you: for ongoing therapy, being close to me matters less than you'd think. Therapy is licensed state by state, so a couple in Fresno and a couple in Carmel have exactly the same access to me. The line that governs my practice is the state line, not the county line.
But one thing changes the whole shape of it: being on the Peninsula. That's further down.
How We'll Actually Meet
What Telehealth Means When You Live Less Than Thirty Minutes Away
My practice runs over secure video. That's a design choice, not a leftover from a few years ago.
Think about what getting to an appointment actually costs you. The drive over the hill. If you mask, none of that is neutral travel time — it's work, and you've done it before the session even starts. In my practice, I often see people arrive already spent from the getting there.
Video gives that back to you. You're in your own light, in your own chair, with your own dog on your feet. You can look away without it meaning anything. You can stim. You can turn the brightness down. And on a week when work makes being in the same room impossible, the two of you can join from two different places.
There's a real cost to it, and I'd rather say so. Co-regulation is partly physical. Two nervous systems settling near each other do something two nervous systems on a screen don't quite do. That's not a small loss. It's exactly why the retreat exists in the form it does.
What About Seeing You in Person?
I have a home office; it has a private entrance and is a 200-square-foot space behind my garage. If you need to use the restroom, you'll need to enter my home. It's non-ideal in some cases, and for some people it makes therapy more personal. Occasionally a local client asks to meet in person, and sometimes we arrange it — by request, case by case. Everything ongoing happens over video.
I'd rather tell you that here than have you drive over expecting a door with my name on it.
The Local Difference
The Retreat Is the One Thing That Happens in the Room
The Balance & Bonding Time Retreat is two days with one couple. Not a group. Not a workshop weekend. Not a curriculum with your names typed into it.
Five guided ninety-minute sessions across two days. A fifty-minute individual session with each of you beforehand. A resource kit built out of your own two days rather than a template. An integration call within two weeks after, so what shifted has somewhere to land. $2,997 per couple, payment plans available, by application.
Now here's what's only true if you're on the Peninsula.
The retreat runs virtually or in person. When it runs in person somewhere else in the country, the couple covers my travel and lodging on top of everything else. If you're near one of my home bases, I simply commute to you. No flights. No hotel for me. No travel line in your total.
The second advantage is quieter, and for a lot of neurodivergent people it's the one that matters more. You don't have to go anywhere. Retreats usually mean an unfamiliar bed, unfamiliar food, an unfamiliar bathroom, and the particular exhaustion of two strange days while you're also doing the hardest talking of your marriage. Being local means you can sleep in your own bed both nights, eat what you actually eat, and still have two days that look nothing like your ordinary week.
Or book somewhere on the coast precisely because you want the change of scene. I'll still drive. Meals, lodging and whatever you arrange around our sessions are yours to organize either way.
Who This Is For
Does This Sound Like Your House?
My practice is couples and individuals, in that proportion. Most of the couples are mixed-neurotype or both neurodivergent, and most arrive having had the same argument in ten different outfits.
You've been the only one naming the pattern. For years. And somewhere along the way you were told, sometimes out loud, that you're too much. You're not looking for permission to leave. You're looking for someone to tell you you're not imagining it.
You found out late. Autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD, and now you're re-reading your whole history with new information. Grieving and relieved in the same hour. Nothing about you is broken — you were running systems that were never designed with you in mind.
You love each other and keep missing each other. Pursue and withdraw. Meltdown and shutdown. The connection isn't missing. It has a different shape, and that shape can be learned.
You're welcome here without a formal diagnosis. Self-identified and suspected are both fine.
What I Offer
Ways We Can Work Together
- Couples Therapy & Coaching
Weekly support for neurodiverse couples ready to understand each other's wiring and build a partnership that fits how you both actually function. - Support for Partners
For the partner carrying the emotional weight, including Cassandra Syndrome, AfDD and OTRS, so your needs finally matter too. - Individual Therapy & Coaching
For late-diagnosed autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults working through identity, unmasking and self-trust. - Adult Autism, ADHD & AuDHD Assessments
Comprehensive evaluations for late-diagnosed and high-masking adults. California only. - The Love Lab
An ongoing weekly online group for 3–4 neurodiverse couples, small enough that every partnership gets real attention. - Balance & Bonding Retreat
The two-day private intensive described above.
Everything except assessments is open to coaching clients outside California. All of it is built on the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life, and it's the same map whether we meet on a screen or at your kitchen table.
The Practical Stuff
What It Costs, Up Front
A fifty-minute session is $300, the same whether we meet individually or as a couple. The two-day retreat is $2,997 per couple, with payment plans available.
I offer a limited number of sliding-scale sessions at a reduced rate based on annual gross income, for clients experiencing financial hardship. There's a waitlist for those right now, and you're welcome to ask to be told when something opens.
I also keep a referral network I'm glad to share, including therapists at rates as low as $150 a session — if what you need isn't what I offer, or isn't at what I charge.
Ask me for an estimate of your expected costs at any point and I'll put it in writing as a Good Faith Estimate, in line with federal guidelines under the No Surprises Act.
Quick Answers
What People Here Usually Ask
Do you see clients in person in Pacific Grove?
Occasionally, by request. There's no office and no standing in-person appointment. Ongoing work happens over video. If meeting in person matters to you, say so on the first call and we'll talk about what's possible.
Do I have to live in Monterey County?
No. Therapy requires that you're in California when we meet. Coaching and consultation have no geographic limit. The Peninsula is simply where I happen to live.
Can the retreat happen at our house?
Yes, if that's what you want and you're within driving distance of Pacific Grove. Some couples prefer their own space. Others book somewhere nearby precisely so the two days don't look like ordinary life. Either works, and we decide together on the first call.
Do we need a diagnosis to start?
No. Many of the couples I work with have no formal diagnosis for either partner. What matters is that the dynamics feel familiar and that you both want to try something different.
Start Here
Let's Talk
The next step is a conversation, not an intake. Twenty minutes, no forms, no clinical distance. We talk about what's happening and whether working together makes sense, and you decide afterward. No pressure either way.
Not ready to talk yet? Start with the free guide, You're Not Too Much. You're Just Alone in the Repair. It gives you language for what you've been living, and it asks nothing of you.
Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, MA, LMFT #151788
Love on the Autism Spectrum · Pacific Grove, California
Take your time.